What happened to the pay it forward bank, more like broken backwards

Hello, how are the sleepy and the restless.


So yes you are not seeing things I find myself back on here in less than a week from my last post.

All my life I have been doing things for others spent most of my life helping and being a caretaker. The thankless role in modern society.

Where is my damn payback, I am due, I am owed something for all my work and dedication for all my invested years.

Not brush-offs and half assed commitments, not IOUs or sure we will do something soon.

I want it back now, my self-worth involves feeling like I am not something that can be ignored or pushed to the damn side.

I would never treat people with such disrespect unless they got in now face and thought they were so much better than me.

I bear a lot of weight of stress or the potential of it every day. I have made a promise to myself a few years ago that I need to find a place in my life where I can just be, no worries, or concerns or heaping piles of bs dumping all over me 24/7.

I have found and it has made the world of difference. I no longer involve myself in lives of others unless I feel ok with doing it. Now a new promise if you are not around to make things better then it is time for you to go.

Also going to make an effort to be more critical of my interaction with Negative anything. I know the world is a tough place well you are not dragging me with you. I have worked hard to get where I am. Which is not much but it is mine and I earned it.

The power here is if you power and invest into the negative things then you are only going to get it back but if you walk away you might find things are better.

People will not put up with negative stuff for long. It hurts to see people resort to this sort of thing, but people are jerks more and more these days.

Jerks need not come to my door. I have my time with you now move on and get a life or steal someone else's spotlight cause no longer welcome in my life or around me.

This will take time cause i have been a bit of a welcome mat and pansy ass most of my life. But I deserve positive things in my life. So now I am going to go find it.

Well sorry for the bitch fest. But things needed to be said.

Sandman is sad the world has gone down the shitter. Peace out