Hello everyone, I know long time no type. But this is the blog to catch everyone up and reflect on the year that has been.
Well,this year has been one of change, growth and hanging on for to my sanity and health.
It was certainly not the year where things went with any sort of plan.
The last 4 months has been radio silent as I ran into major lack of communication devices of any sort. This period which I now am calling the great social experiment was just short of seeing me end up in a padded room.
But here I am not to beaten up with new tech to keep me going.
Another theme was truly living my motto being your own one person army. I lived this year my way with little or no outside influence and drama and pushed long and hard to see where my limits truly were at the end of the year.
What I learned is that I must work with people to find my direction with the plans and more importantly dreams for the future, yet I can do it using my own vision.
I learned, to step forward and PR an idea is not without it's draw backs.
I have lost a hero in Robin Williams, a family member I know you would love seeing me write this Grandma I miss you greatly, but know I will indeed every day live my life with my goals set on move forward and doing that which I set my heart, mind, body and soul to.
Learned of sickness of other family members. A dramatic change in my social circle and seeing me be more involved with my own life and finding again who I am.
As well my new project Spirit Tree Crafts got launched into more of a living breathing thing much earlier than planned and has been my muse, my pride and my joy and very much has kept me going through a very hard and often times very lonely year.
I pulled myself out of a deep hole and gave back to a community very dear to my heart and turned my year and impacted my life like no other single thing I have done to date. I still am unsure how I managed what I did. A true dedication to my new be your own army mentality.
My health has continued to be a story maker, major revelations occurred that has me guessing about things in the future. The treatment and plan I am on is only doing so much. and even doing a intensive fitness program most of the year last year has helped has done nothing to slow my body's interior decline.
This is something I have told no one accept my close family and the Doctors that are part of my care. Until now, on top of the chaos of this year this has been my driving and constant thought.
This has shaped my year to cutting back on travel and visits, nuking any and all possible drama outside of my own bubble. It crippled me mentally for a short time as I sat down with the idea for many long winter months last year.
I already face many crazy things, the one thing I changed though, the dream and goal of having a balanced
life where things just work and things sort out cause it is supposed to is gone. I had long fought for that but with the latest bit of health news.
Now with the coming of my be your own army, finding me again and growing in new ways. Change and chaos are very much something I must work with. As both of those things lead to new ideas and opens even more doors that I had been blind to before. Renewed strength and energy and anything that happens now is cause I wanted it to happen. And my choices are key to my future right here right now.
So far it has made my life better across the board I am more focused less critical of myself and have accepted that the people around me may not always understand and disagree with things but that is ok cause I don't like it much either but to let them influence me with negative things or their ways is not an option. A better functioning and happier me makes everyone's life better.
So in closing thank goodness that year is gone now time to push forward and tackle a new year.
Sandman is saying that was a long reflection and needs to taste some fresh new year air. That all for now folks. Oh and I ams who I ams and that is all that I ams.
