Ok with as much woot woot as I can about today's topic I will try to put what I can down for today's topic.
Date Night. We’ve seen some posts from Health Activists on dating tips when
you have a chronic illness. What tips do you have for those looking for the
one fish in this big pond?
I think it has been nearly 4 years since I have seen or even had a Date Night as most of my rare dates I have had. Are usually during the day for coffee, or maybe lunch.
I have been given a very loaded gun today for a topic.
Although I have been told I give the best relationship fixing advice I can't do dates let alone a relationship.
I have been told outright by my own family I should totally write a book about my past experiences with relationships.
It is not the fact I have multiple health issues, but the inability to hold down employment I think that hurts me more.
Ya you are likely thinking whoa off track dude.
Nope, I am good with myself at this point enough to know I have the world to offer to the right woman, where's the right woman.
Remember that movie Good Luck Chuck where the guy would break up with someone and then their lives would totally turn around and they meet the man of their dreams or would get better. Hi that is me.
Oh and it is not that I have not had my chances, hell I have had plenty of those, things can fall into my lap would not matter it I had all the luck in the world something totally crazy will come along and pow all gone and I am left there holding my poor heart in my hands.
So bad i could hit record on the top three excuses why relationships don't last. Oh you are recording number 3 break up, I got this just a sec while I hit play for you.
Deep breath, I did warn you this was a loaded gun right.
Dating for me is like walking through a field of landmines, walking backwards, blind folded.
First advice, figure out what dating means to the woman you are taking out. Cause everyone has their own idea and expectations. And if you don't come even close to having the same view as her run far and fast. Save time and energy for someone who is at least on the same level with what you want or expect.
Second be open about the questions you might have that might impact any future meetings. And more importantly be open to hers. Listen to everything she has to say as it is all important on the first meeting. Eye contact, not boobs, not legs, not into your coffee, not at other women.
Smile and breath for all that is holy do it. No sense in passing out, smiling at the very least keeps her guessing, is he always this happy? Man he is really digging me with his smile!
Find out her usual dress for such occasions, if you show up in a Tux and shows up with Daisy Dukes and a Cow Girl hat with Sexy on it, consider that a fail, amusing but a fail.Unless you are going to a costume party.
At some point do something to make her laugh or at least make her smile. A funny story, animal noises, funny voices. But use it as very little as possible. I like giving women a sample of what I have to offer them not over doing it either. Nothing kinky, unless that is how she rolls ( it has happened).
Best advice, be yourself and you can't be amusing, or witty, never something that puts you in a negative light, and certainly not acting in a way you are not at all like.
Take the lead always, smiling (again) have options ready even if you are not prepared or too nervous to think.
Ok I think you get the idea.
Now the magic mystery issue, so you have a chronic illness eh. I have tried all sorts of techniques with this, there is no wrong way just better ways. My way is not say anything cause if the person is smart she will pick up on strange things like 15 secs seeing you. It is a fact, sorry guys a woman undresses you in about 10 seconds if you pass that coffee date will go well. Or she will not disappear at least. Most people will give each other a chance unless things really are not clicking. Or it is scary never underestimate the power of creepy vibes.
Play this by ear and go with the flow. It usually happens when the discussion of jobs comes up, cause you know it will. I am for most purposes a Jack of all trades and a master of none. My interests over the years have become my job, or my passion. Even though I can not work, I do enough knowledge related stuff I was trained for that I do.
The way I work it out is this most people are about the whole picture, earning money is part of that but, so is personality, and physical appearance and wits.
I have the wits and the personality, I am a looking guy, I earn little actual money but am by no means lazy.
My illness only become a topic of concern when I need to cross that bridge. I try to let the person see me first without knowing I have shit going on. Cause when I explain things, if they are smart things make sense to them. And then they can decide if it is to much or not.
In the end and this is the part that matters and sucks the most all at the same time. If it is not meant to be it is not meant to be nothing can or will ever change that. Just keep swimming ( Ack) and someone come into your life will like who you are enough to put up with your crap and love the flaws and the super powers...err person you are.
Ok, Sandman is needing food and sun badly has to go, see y'all on the flip side.
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